matters of the heart
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" -Jeremiah 17:9
When i think about my heart and what it should look like it completely contradicts what it is. i want to have a heart that is genuine, humble, and transparent. The heart reveals ones deepest desires and dreams.
Transparent:
Isn't it hard and yet very convicting to think that God knows our hearts? The thing i've realized while searching my heart is that i sometimes refuse to take all matters to God. Thinking that not all is relevant. i don't question some of the thoughts and desires, that i probably should. i find myself thinking seriously what does He care about school work or about what i'm thinking this moment. i think these things, because of course God has much bigger things to deal with. However in 2 Chronicles 16:9 it says "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro through out the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him". Where does my heart stand when it comes to the things of God? i want to be part of this "mighty majority", or the few that God chooses to do big works through. Putting a wall up doesn't keep God out, it keeps me out.
Humble:
Convictions with humility. One thing that i recognize immediately is that i serve myself. Rule of thumb says -God, Others, yourself-. This is one of the hardest things because i have continued to climb that mountain of pride and what happens when you get to the top and its a cliff? Well, you must come down. Asking God to humble me, means giving of myself until it hurts. i struggle most with pride and i find myself very similar to the Pharisees. What a very unsettling thought. Becoming more of Him and less of me, requires that i die to myself daily.
Genuine:
If God is searching for the heart that is loyal, he must also be searching for genuinity. "We must realize that our words and actions are a reflection of our thoughts and our thoughts is evidence of our hearts." -K.P. Yohannan. To think that every thought is a reflection of my heart scares me. Isn't there that one time when you see the homeless man and ask, "why is he homeless? what will he do with the money i give him?" or maybe you see a guy or girl and think, "why are they wearing that?". What makes me better than them? i would like to place blame on the enemy in this situation. However I am held accountable for these thoughts. Seriously, every thought? Yes. God wants my best. Its not like i can say "here God, take this" and yet when i say that, sometimes i don't mean for Him to take it all. He asks for all of me though and because i love him, i should desire to give him every crevice of my heart.
David says in Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
This cry that David prays to the Lord is the same cry I will pray too.
When i think about my heart and what it should look like it completely contradicts what it is. i want to have a heart that is genuine, humble, and transparent. The heart reveals ones deepest desires and dreams.
Transparent:
Isn't it hard and yet very convicting to think that God knows our hearts? The thing i've realized while searching my heart is that i sometimes refuse to take all matters to God. Thinking that not all is relevant. i don't question some of the thoughts and desires, that i probably should. i find myself thinking seriously what does He care about school work or about what i'm thinking this moment. i think these things, because of course God has much bigger things to deal with. However in 2 Chronicles 16:9 it says "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro through out the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him". Where does my heart stand when it comes to the things of God? i want to be part of this "mighty majority", or the few that God chooses to do big works through. Putting a wall up doesn't keep God out, it keeps me out.
Humble:
Convictions with humility. One thing that i recognize immediately is that i serve myself. Rule of thumb says -God, Others, yourself-. This is one of the hardest things because i have continued to climb that mountain of pride and what happens when you get to the top and its a cliff? Well, you must come down. Asking God to humble me, means giving of myself until it hurts. i struggle most with pride and i find myself very similar to the Pharisees. What a very unsettling thought. Becoming more of Him and less of me, requires that i die to myself daily.
Genuine:
If God is searching for the heart that is loyal, he must also be searching for genuinity. "We must realize that our words and actions are a reflection of our thoughts and our thoughts is evidence of our hearts." -K.P. Yohannan. To think that every thought is a reflection of my heart scares me. Isn't there that one time when you see the homeless man and ask, "why is he homeless? what will he do with the money i give him?" or maybe you see a guy or girl and think, "why are they wearing that?". What makes me better than them? i would like to place blame on the enemy in this situation. However I am held accountable for these thoughts. Seriously, every thought? Yes. God wants my best. Its not like i can say "here God, take this" and yet when i say that, sometimes i don't mean for Him to take it all. He asks for all of me though and because i love him, i should desire to give him every crevice of my heart.
David says in Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
This cry that David prays to the Lord is the same cry I will pray too.
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