Dreaded: Part 3 - The Removal

5 Sections. 
Last part of the dread series. 
Let's do this.

INCONVENIENCES

When my dreads started surpassing my non-dreaded hair by a foot I started to not like my hair. #DreadMullet If my top half would have grown as quickly as the bottom half, I might still have dreads.

Trust me. I did a lot of things to try making my top half grow. I even cut my dreads, which is possible btw, to give my top half room to grow. Besides, I liked my dreads and getting rid of them was Plan B, not Plan A.

I couldn't figure it out.

Some say you go through hormone changes every 8-10 years and I thought this could be a factor. I also began wondering if my top half, which seemed to never feel "soft/healthy" was getting beat up by the fibrous dreads therefore splitting the ends constantly. Either way I didn't like my dreads standing out that much and I didn't like what was happening on the top half.

In addition to unhealthy non-dreaded hair, my new shower in Ohio is a rain shower and the ol' bend-over-in-the-shower technique was going to get old quick.

Things kept coming up against my dreads and while I wanted to keep them for my wedding, I was ready to get rid of them, looong before the big day.

WEDDING HAIR

Jake, the hubs, disclosed to me more than once that he wasn't aware I had dreads until he stalked my FB. I'm assuming this was before he took me out on our first date, but it could have been after. I also could clarify.

The dreads were one of those aspects about me that made Jake a little dubious at first. Understandable. He didn't know me. But that didn't last long and he ended up being someone who really liked maybe even loved my dreads.

Despite my inner turmoil, I'd decided I wanted the dreads to be a part of our special day. They looked magical, just like everything else.

Thanks to Rachel for this amazing wrap job. #TalentedBFFs

Post wedding, post moving to Ohio, post getting a new shower, post getting a new job... I was finally ready to remove the dreads.

REMOVAL

I will quickly share the process, and if requested I could go into detail in the comments section but I've given you so many details already in this series that even I'm tired of the subject myself. So here it is.

Wearing: Pajamas by Sonoma. Makeup: Natural. CONQUER THE DAY.

I researched A TON, for almost a month, and here's how it went down. Also Jake went on a 3-day work trip and this seemed the appropriate time to go to work on my hair.

Equipment:
-Carol's Daughter Deep Conditioner Mask
-1 Pintail metal comb
-Grocery Bags
-Movies
-Patience and Determination

Basically I would take one dread, coat it in conditioner, and then work diligently on detangling it by sticking the metal pick through the end of the dread and wiggle it around until I could brush the bottom of the dread through with my fine-tooth comb. I worked my way up on each and every dread. This process took forever but it worked. I did NOT have to cut them out.

...10 hours and 6 movies later.

Gone.

FUN FACT - I PRETENDED I WASN'T WEIRD. Ha.

As I was watching those movies, in the middle of brushing out my dreads, NBD, I got a knock on the door.

Maintenance men. Great.

They came inside the apartment to fix some minor things, took about 10 minutes. All the while I sat on the couch with Van Helsing on (the blockbuster hit with Hugh Jackman and vampires-don't judge me) pretending like I wasn't brushing out dreads (yep, I shoved that mess behind my head and sat back), because brushing out my dreads seemed like a private affair I didn't want to share with the maintenance guys.

It's not super important that you know this detail but the couch was facing away from the maintenance guys as they worked so I'm literally sitting on the couch, not facing them, and having a "conversation." Super normal, right?

Needless to say I pulled it off with amazing awkwardness as expected and questions/conversation I was initiating like, "Have you ever seen Van Helsing?" and "It's getting cold out there today, huh? You know I'm from Texas..." I can give you the full dialogue, but it's painful.

So that happened.

After they left I realized I needed to book a hair appointment, because being weird and not having dreads was becoming real. I did research and 30 minutes later had a booking for the next afternoon.

I USED TO HAVE DREADS

Here I was, no dreads. Explaining myself to the hairstylist I'd just met and basically having a calm and controlled identity crisis, I needed a new do. She was my counselor, she just didn't know it. We decided on some color and a cut and she counseled me through all of it, because let's be honest she read through my "calm crisis."

I got nervous as she cut and colored my hair. Nervous because I didn't know what I'd look like, because Jake only knew me with dreads, because I would be styling a whole head of hair again after 4.5 years of styling just my top half. Nervous because I was now the girl who used to have dreads.




But look at me! I'm just as cute as I ever was. I still nervously sent out my "new do" to Jake, family and some friends.

Each time I looked at my picture I reminded myself, "you look good and you're still Heather."

I know that seems crazy, especially since I spent the last few posts letting you know, "I'm not my dreads," but like any good thing that's a part of your life and then gone, you still go through this point of grieving. You grieve the possibilities (what could have been), the nostalgia (what was), looking forward at the future (what actually is) AND then accepting this new phase.

You answer all the fallout questions and inquisitions. You decide how and whether you even want to respond to anything remotely not-positive be it disappointment, grief, confusion, or "why would you do that??!" Then you move on.

EPILOGUE (and a surprise 6th section, you're welcome)

Hi, I'm Heather. I'm the girl who used to have dreads. It's one of the fun "facts" I like to share with people I've never met. It's like that Two Truths and A Lie game, but I add in that I had dreads and it's unsuspecting.

Life without dreads has been different, much like getting married, moving to Ohio, starting a new job, and writing again. I'm slowly but surely getting accustomed to it all.

Jake liked me both ways: with and without dreads. He still misses my dreads and sometimes I do too. But I'm still Heather. I'm still creative, determined, unique, committed and I still love Africa. Now I just get to pick other ways to express these things. So stay tuned for that.