The Act of Praise

A full time student, a part-time worker, and a full time lover of Jesus, while I may fail at all three, I am still crowned with His incessant glory and grace…

Therefore I say:

"Some boast of chariots and some of horses; but (I) boast of the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7

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It’s kind of funny how we, human beings, can amount all our time and worth into one moment that is here for a second and gone with the next second. I worry that as ‘funny’ as it is; it is also sinful and saddening. If our lives are the love song to our creator, then why do we sing praises to ourselves? Did we create ourselves? Did we create the joy we feel in happiness? Why do we count all joy in successes and all sadness in suffering?

If the bible commands that we be joyful always does this not mean the time we lose a friend or relative to death? Or when natural disaster takes brothers and sisters? What about when the house is foreclosed? When you lose your job? How about the time you stub your toe on the couch? Or when you work really hard, and fail a final exam that essentially leads to failing the class, and then come to find out, that class is offered once every two years, and you graduate in one?

Yep, that last one I know more personally, more so, recently.

I told myself. “Praise Him. Praise HIM. PRAISE HIM!” No matter what the outcome is, just praise Him… It’s a lot easier to tell yourself to praise, than when the time comes and you need to perform.

As I stood waiting for my professor to grade my exam, I was excited. I had studied and felt that I had finally figured it out, figured him out… As I stood there giddy, my professor began marking off the wrong answers. Giddiness turned to humility and I realized “oh shoot… I’m going to fail”. He handed me back my grade sheet and it read a medium sized “60”. ::Sigh::, “ok, thank you”.

As I walked out of the classroom, I wanted to shout. Many stupid thoughts clouded my mind leaving the classroom and as I descended the stairs my thoughts turned me angry, I was livid. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs I was sure that I would turn around and march right back up and give him a piece of my mind. When I opened the doors to the exit though, another thought flooded my mind and being. A thought of sadness, “I failed”. I. HAVE. FAILED. Being the dramatic and analytical person I was, the walk back to the car was torturous. Satan accumulated sacred thoughts now telling me, “ya, and its not the first time you’ve failed, remember when…” This continued until I reached my car, tears outlined my eyes and sunglasses shielded the world from my brokenness. Right then as I stood by my car door another thought one more soft and tender came through… “Does this failure define who you are, much less WHOSE you are?”

No.

Then like a crazy girl filled with emotions, I hopped in my car and began a whole other realm of thinking. No, that moment did not define me. Yes, I failed, but I was still Gods. The Holy Spirit reminded me and I said aloud, “I am a daughter of a king who fails at almost everything, and still my king crowns me in his love and throws a robe of grace over me.”

My eyes were flooded with grateful and humiliated tears at my angst to be upset and rebel. In a moment of trouble I didn’t want to rejoice I wanted to complain. I wanted to be angry… But God still loved me. So I write this to remind myself, and to speak the heavy Truth that God laid on my heart… His command, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Don’t forget to praise Him. Every moment. Every second. Every laugh and every cry.

I must tell you. That day I felt defeated and walked away victoriously, was something I will look back on and smile. Not because it was a great moment, but because it was a moment where I could stand and say boldly, “Some boast of chariots and some of horses; but (I) boast of the name of the Lord our God."

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In posting this blog, I must inform you of very great news, but news that I give glory to God alone and the mercy he gave to my professor which passed to me. I did pass the class with a “C”. I found out two weeks later after writing this, and yes, I will praise Him for that. But know that this did NOT alter my thought on the matter. God is good ALL the time. ALL the time, God IS GOOD.