Welcome to Reality

The opportunity for patience comes in many forms... a homemade apple pie baking in the oven - an elevator full of people, you don't know, dressed in suits (no breathing allowed) going up 15 flights - a stormy evening, awaiting a loved one - a customer making a decision on ONE item (all your other customers have left) - an 'iffy' grade at the end of a semester - a friend doing something you wouldn't do (you're waaay more smarter than that!) - a file downloading before class or a major presentation - a 24 hour roadtrip, not including rest breaks - the grocery line - the drive-thru - the bathroom...

Yes, all patience-testers. All for the glory of God.

I try not to pray for patience, because people say you will be tested with patience. To myself I'm thinking, "God you're funny, testing me with something I don't have..." But the truth is, without these unwelcome afflictions of ants-in-the-pants, how would I ever come to trust a Sovereign Lord?

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Throughout the past couple of weeks my prayer life has been like a long distance call, in a low valley, in the middle of no where. My initial way to counter-act this "lull" (we'll call it), was to recite scripture (Romans 15:4-5). Every-single-scripture-I-knew. Not that reciting had gotten old, but my in-and-out feeds with God were getting me restless. No prayer, no peace. After reciting I moved into meditation and reading. Also a good use of time. I knew His word would wash over me and restore, but what it felt like was a skype date. Real. But not yet the real thing... **Side note: My time with God consists of Prayer, Scripture, and Meditation. However, prayer was lacking so my idea of solution was substitution therefore extending meditation and scripture.**

"COME ON!" I thought. Dropped calls all over the place... my impatience began boiling.

On a last attempt I fasted from my car radio. If you've never done it, you should try. I used to pray all the time in my car (post two stolen radios and a broken piggy bank), its all I could/wanted to do. Monday went well. The call didn't drop, so that was good. Still, though, I didn't feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. *Note: When you feel the Lord in prayer, you know. His presence is surreal. Where confusion lingered, an overwhelming peace resides.* (I needed HIS presence).

Come Tuesday I decided I'd pray more sporadically. Whatever, came to mind, I'd pray for it. It seemed like that might work. I went to work and got off a little early, at 5:20 (10 mins is still early, right?). I saw my gas was nearin' the E side and took the ol' girl to the waterhole. She's a little high-maintenance and demands a pretty good chunk of my wallet. So leaving the 'waterhole' feels like someone just slapped me, and said "HEY, ride a bike!"... That won't happen. All that to say, I was a little irritable. As I drove out of the parking lot, the car felt a little "heavy." I proceeded to the highway and upon entering the speed track, I noticed gears weren't shifting. Shoot! Going 45 mph had my rpm's right over 3 and an engine shouting at me to CHILL.

I pulled off the highway into a parking lot and did what every young girl would do, who knows nothing about her car (except vague tire changes and oil changes), and called her dad. My dad reported that "that's not good." ::Sigh:: I know dad. Now what?

Apparently the only way was to drive home going 40 mph on side streets. To give you an idea of what thats all about: what normally takes 30 mins, and nearly 25 miles to get home, now took me a full hour and about 10 miles extra, give or take. Oh goodie! I refilled my tank so I could take a detour... :/.

Upset about the long trek I was taking home, it occured to me, "hey, you wanted prayer, now you got it....through the form of patience and humility" Of course, why didn't I think of that?

After a few awkward miles of quietness between Jesus and myself, my heart grew tender. I continued to pray sporadically, but as I prayed on, my mind wandered, as it usually does in prayer. This time for the good...

I thought about how so often I want to speed things up. How I want to speed life up. I'm part of a fast-food generation, always on the go. Everything's quick. Our conversations, our lunch breaks, church (God forbid the sermon goes over an hour), and our prayer lives. My prayer life. I want to get what I need and go. This goes for reading scripture too. As cars passed me I realized this often represented my reality. It seems I'm always in the slow lane of life. I mean sure, I'm on the fast-track, but quite honestly I'm a treadmill in the woods. I want this and that. I want to know God more intimately, spend time with Him, get patience from him in the fast-food line. But that's not how God has made things for me. Everything takes time: answers to prayers, prayer life, understanding scripture. Everything.

...To sum this whole story up (sorry its so long). I'm thankful that I'm a "slow driver." That God would slow my car down, prolong my awkwardness in conversation with Him and make me see the crookedness of my prayer life. Not only that but also I'm thankful for being a "slow driver" in life. I don't get things as fast as other people do. Not just jokes (ha), but getting the degree, getting married, understanding life's purpose. PRAISE GOD for discipline (Hebrews 12:6) and showing me that my impatience IS a form of unbelief/lack of faith.

This totally captures my experience in the slow lane.

Times like this remind me that "though I'm of the world", I don't have to act like the world (2 Corinthians 10:3-4), prayer's the strongest form of combat against the distant heart.

How do you get out of your "lulls"?
How's your prayer life?
and, Do you know what's wrong with my car?

(Just kidding on the last one.)