The Catalyst: Encouragement from Convictions

But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand. -Acts 4:4
What an amazing and God awe moment where you see His Holiness and grace amongst the 5 thousand! Who wouldn't want to be a part of that moment?
I've been a part of the Travis Park Ministry for more than half a year. In this ministry God provides coffee, christian brothers & sisters, and homeless to converse and fellowship in His name. Basically we all get up early Saturday morning where we head to Tri-Point/Grace Cafe to pick up 4 carriers of coffee and proceed to get in the word and prayer before going out to Travis Park (TP). Travis Park is a park in S.A. where a lot of homeless gather while they wait for the salvation army, SAMM ministry and other shelters to open. Here is where God has made his sanctuary and His presence known. We sometimes bring musical instruments to worship God, others have brought goodies (like cookies and gloves) and some have brought food (oatmeal and sandwiches). We have developed friendships with these people and I personally have grown fond of each one of them. Eying their personalities, who likes sugar, who doesn't, whose having a hard time... The thing is, as Christ followers we can each relate because once, we too were homeless. We searched for fill but never found it and our hope was limited. But that changed when we were adopted into the family of Christ now we have a home (that's not here), God feeds us His word which fills beyond measure, and He has promised us hope that He is the ultimate provider [Phil. 4:19]. This is where God uses us... To share our stories and testimonies. To listen to the lost share theirs. To be encouraged and humbled before God.
I first felt God put it on my heart to get out of my comfort zone at the beginning of summer 2009. God had given me unconditionally and I had also read and done bible study on an extremely convicting book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Which ultimately led to me feeling God's call to serve, because I had a different take on Jesus' love and how much he served and now how badly I wanted to serve Him [Matthew 25:40]. I've had wonderful conversations and I recently realized that what I wanted most was to share Christ's message with them. For them to be saved! I also realized that my opportunities were slipping and my zeal for the Lord was beginning to intimidate my flesh. I vented to my Christian brother and told him that I feared that my time with each person was limited, that I sometimes was upset because a conversation would go on and God be mentioned once at the end when I would say "well, I'll be praying for you". My fear was that I wasn't equipped enough to share. I hadn't had enough experience evangelizing and sharing straight up gospel... After listening to what I had to say, I believe the Holy Spirit had given him the passage for me to read: his response was to read Acts 4.
A couple nights later I began reading it and was blown away by God's message to me. His words came alive and for the first time I saw that all my thinking was inflicted by the enemy. Putting thoughts into my head of doubt and unworthiness, had started to hurt me, in that people weren't hearing the gospel story. Well in God's faithfulness He showed me and has encouraged me to invite the Holy spirit to use me to talk to people, before we even converse, my prayer will be that they won't hear me, but that they will hear God [V. 8]. I also realized that me, Heather, my presence is counted nothing unless God is with me and even at that all honor and glory to Him, everything I do is in His name [v. 12]. God also wanted me to take notice that these men were ordinary men, uneducated, and the only thing they 'knew' about was Jesus accounts that they had witnessed [v.13]. Was training required? I'm not going to say no, because I do believe that we should be trained in the word, BUT, you don't need to be trained. To know the simple truth that God sent His only son, a perfect man and divine being, Jesus, to die a death He didn't deserve to save the world from the wrath of God. Simply believing this brings God joy and His grace is now on us. God also told me that just because I tell absolute truth, some are close minded, some don't want to hear, and some will choose not to believe [v.14]. This part scares me most, because who wants to share and be rejected? The thing is, it doesn't matter, as a follower of Christ I will have rejection, there will be humiliation and honestly I will fail. To know though that God never will is reassuring. The sadness that overwhelms me when I think of rejection now is not me, but that Jesus up on that Cross did it for them, and that was their ultimate rejection.
Even though, Christians are told to be quiet, I for one cannot sit still. My zeal for Him is so intense, my flesh is scared of what people will think or say. Honestly I've come to realize that this should not matter as long as the Ultimate Love Story is told, people can persecute all they want. Its in Christs name I do it, and in Christ where it can only be done. When Peter and John are asked to be quiet about Jesus, to not claim that name as the one who restores, was resurrected, and healer they responded: "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard." [v. 19&20].
Interpret that how you want to. I know that when I go to Travis Park, to work, to school that everything I do is in His name. I want God to be glorified and therefore I will serve, I will get spit on and I will bow before my God and know that He is the only one who can stand up for me and the only provider of my souls satisfaction. So my zeal that the Holy Spirit has given me will be used as a catalyst for God's glory. My trust is in Him and my eyes are on Him, and His work... has just begun.