An Apology To Operators: We Dialed "0" Thirty-Four Too Many Times
Dear Operators: Jane, Ann, Joe, Kevin, Michael, Hannah, Mary, Jim and many others,
I would like to come out and make a semi-formal apology for the 34 phone calls my little sister and friend made back in 1998. Obviously they were practical jokes and we took our 11, 10, and 9 year old jobs very seriously and your job, not so much. We knew better but we were bored and let's admit it, you were probably bored too.
When my little sister, Stacey, located the pay phone in the middle of our oldest sister's volleyball game, we told Reese, our man-child friend, about the discovery. Of all our friends sitting in the bleachers, Reese would know what to do. He did. Reese explained to us something about an operating service and how fun it was to call you guys (and girls). We left our parents and sprinted to the payphone like it was the ice cream truck.
Now, it seemed bizzare to me that by simply dialing "0" on the payphone would literally put me in contact with a real human, but it did! Both my sister and I tried it and as soon as you said "hello, this is..." we hung up. No way. No way. No way. An audience of one?!
We then proceeded to try every "phone joke" in the book, telling you silly things and asking you many questions about life, bodily functions, dating services and homework problems. Maybe we threw in a few "sexy jokes" but again we were young and our "promiscuous" jokes were rather lame (sorry about that too). I think we spent 10 minutes there at Phone Narnia, exploring all the different ways we could ask you questions and strike up one ended conversations, but it felt like hours. We giggled and laughed and my sister and I almost peed our pants. Almost.
Coming from my end of the spectrum, a moral fanatic, I honestly hadn't seen the harm in spicing up your day with naive jokes about being a librarian or asking if your refrigerator was calling... things like that. Stacey and Reese could have kept going (OK and me too), but I knew when the game ended and our parents would come looking for us, we'd be in deep poop, so we left you hanging.
While I can't speak or apologize on behalf of Reese or Stacey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry from the bottom of my twenty-four year old heart. I'm sorry for being a kid. Wait, not sorry about that. I'm sorry we didn't take you seriously. If it makes any difference at all it was the first time I'd called you guys and the last time, I assure you.
I would like to come out and make a semi-formal apology for the 34 phone calls my little sister and friend made back in 1998. Obviously they were practical jokes and we took our 11, 10, and 9 year old jobs very seriously and your job, not so much. We knew better but we were bored and let's admit it, you were probably bored too.
When my little sister, Stacey, located the pay phone in the middle of our oldest sister's volleyball game, we told Reese, our man-child friend, about the discovery. Of all our friends sitting in the bleachers, Reese would know what to do. He did. Reese explained to us something about an operating service and how fun it was to call you guys (and girls). We left our parents and sprinted to the payphone like it was the ice cream truck.
Now, it seemed bizzare to me that by simply dialing "0" on the payphone would literally put me in contact with a real human, but it did! Both my sister and I tried it and as soon as you said "hello, this is..." we hung up. No way. No way. No way. An audience of one?!
We then proceeded to try every "phone joke" in the book, telling you silly things and asking you many questions about life, bodily functions, dating services and homework problems. Maybe we threw in a few "sexy jokes" but again we were young and our "promiscuous" jokes were rather lame (sorry about that too). I think we spent 10 minutes there at Phone Narnia, exploring all the different ways we could ask you questions and strike up one ended conversations, but it felt like hours. We giggled and laughed and my sister and I almost peed our pants. Almost.
Coming from my end of the spectrum, a moral fanatic, I honestly hadn't seen the harm in spicing up your day with naive jokes about being a librarian or asking if your refrigerator was calling... things like that. Stacey and Reese could have kept going (OK and me too), but I knew when the game ended and our parents would come looking for us, we'd be in deep poop, so we left you hanging.
While I can't speak or apologize on behalf of Reese or Stacey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry from the bottom of my twenty-four year old heart. I'm sorry for being a kid. Wait, not sorry about that. I'm sorry we didn't take you seriously. If it makes any difference at all it was the first time I'd called you guys and the last time, I assure you.
Will you accept my apology, operators?
Till then,
Heather
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Now that I think about it... I'd also like to say thank you.
We were so entertained. I hope you were just a little.
Oh the thrilling things we did as kids!!! Hmmm, I wonder if I need to apologize for anything? Yep, just thought of something. :o)
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Hahahah ooooh I was super into prank calls when I was a kid too. So funny.
ReplyDeleteMy brother and sister did prank calls, and even had a "regular" that they would call every day and he would answer EVERY day. I chuckled, but couldn't get in on it. However, I did call this one guy that left me his number from work and we tried to trick him into coming after we were closed. We were totally going to leave him hanging, haha.
ReplyDeleteHa! This was hilarious! My sister used to do the exact same thing. She also had a bad habit of calling the psychic Ms. Cleo and run up my grandma's phone bill well into the hundreds of dollars...
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