Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

It's Day 7 of  Blog Everyday May and today's topic is "thing(s) you're most afraid of." Surface or deep? Surface or deep?

via Pinterest

Like Jenni, I debated: should I share the things everyone's {usually} afraid of or the thing(s) I'm most afraid of? Sharing your fears, no matter who you are, shows you're human. We're frail. We break. We fall apart. We are vincible and that's a fact of life. We see it everyday, in the news and all around us. 

This world is broken.

Essentially, we're broken too.

On the surface I'm scared of creepy-crawlies amongst them spiders, snakes and scorpions. I'm sometimes scared of the dark, and I'm totally a paranoid runner (since I picture dogs chasing me and cars trying to run me over). And due to the urban legend of the deadly spider under the toilet seat, I'm also slightly afraid to sit on toilets. All things surface (literally, har har) and kind of silly...

Deep down, I'm hesitant to share what scares me because I don't know a lot of people who share this fear. The thing is, I've been scarred by the world's view of life... but mostly it's view of love. I'm scared of love. Explain myself? Well growing up in church, I learned there were a few things women greatly desired, family being one of the greatest. According to their definition, family includes a husband and children and those two things strike fear inside me. Far greater than people know. My parents have a beautiful marriage. I know many couples that do. It's not like I've loved and lost or even that I was cheated on or treated badly... I've just seen and known too many people that have been hurt and too many films portraying broken love. Hollywood makes a spectacle of marriage but mostly divorce. I cringe. And for some reason unbeknownst I've succumbed to their view and allowed it to chip away and callous my heart. I was not one of the girls who went to college to get the MRS. My biological clock doesn't tick at every wedding or birth announcement. I think it's beautiful for them, but for me... not so much.

Giving love, is easier (not easy, but easier) for me. I can do that because Christ told me to and by the Holy Spirit's power my arms willingly reach out and pick up piece after piece of the broken world and carefully place them back together with blood, sweat and tears. My heart aches to fix and aches to hold, but to receive? I'm so hesitant.

Yes, I agree good counsel is needed. My friend says, "everyone needs counseling" and I agree. But in the mean time and like all things foreign, uncomfortable and "scary" I will look to the Lord of comfort and Jesus' example of give and receive. I will pray. Day by day the Lord works on taking my heart of stone and making it one of flesh. Just like my relationship with Christ it's a slow, painful but an oh so wonderful process of learning who I am and who He is. I wait. The Lord did not promise me a life of comfort and ease. He didn't promise I'd get married. I wait. Wedding after wedding I attend, I sit and smile as the bride tells her groom she's his and the groom says I'm yours. I wait. 

The bible says, perfect love will cast out fear. 

Perfect love is Jesus,

who will make all things possible... 

even receiving love. 

I will wait.

***

Tell me about your fears.

What scares you?

You can go surface or deep,

I don't mind.